Heartbreak Support

I have found a very specific group of people who will not do Affirmations and interestingly it’s not because they think Affirmations will not work.

They actually believe Affirmations DO work but they feel that they do not deserve a better life. They feel unworthy because of mistakes they’ve made in their lives especially that affected other people.

I will give you an example but first understand that people in the divorce support group come to me in waves. So, this wave was probably on their fourth visit after we had started discussing Affirmations and for homework most of them had started. After a small question and answer session it was revealed that one of them was stuck and didn’t complete the exercise. It was a little odd because this person was so gung-ho about everything. Through some back-and-forth banter it was revealed for the first time that this person was a former addict. In those terrible days when she was struggling, she signed away custody of her children. She was of no use to them in her condition at that point in her life but knowing she was “a mama that gave up her children”.... that cross was too heavy to bear. She broke down and wept as she told us the story. She went on to tell us that addiction runs in her family tree. 

​

It was because of what those children saw their mother go through, that none of them will go near alcohol. I asked her if it ever occurred to her that just maybe through her suffering, that she had saved the lives of her three kids?

I personally do not believe in accidents. I am one of those people who believes that life goes exactly the way it is supposed to. It is beautiful and perfect by design.

Maybe her suffering altered the future timeline of what would’ve occurred in one or more of her children’s lives? Maybe one of her kids would’ve gotten addicted to alcohol and had a wreck at age 16 and died but because of her suffering—that reality will never come to be.

I have known Familes where everyone in the family was an addicted to alcohol.... yet these three children witnessed her mother suffer as an alcoholic..... and now all three of them won’t touch the stuff.

I asked her if it ever occurred to her that she might be an unwilling participant in God‘s greater plan?

She said that thought never occurred to her and went further stating that not only will none of them touch alcohol but one just graduated from college and going back to the dark time in her life, she never would’ve saw that coming.

She is recovered. She also has a loving relationship with all three children now.

I don’t know how to teach you to forgive yourself but I will keep looking for the answer. I do have a story from a YouTube video by Dr. Wayne Dyer that helped me make peace with the mistakes that I’ve made in my past.

​

I am Lost. 

​

A woman is dying of AIDS. A priest is summoned. He attempts to comfort her but to no avail.

“I am lost” She said, “I have ruined my life and every life around me.  Now I am going painfully to hell….there is no hope for me.”

​

The priest saw a framed picture of a pretty girl on the dresser, “Who is this?” he asked. 

​

The woman’s faced brightened, “She is my daughter. The One beautiful thing in my life”

​

“And would you help her if she was in trouble or made a mistake? Would you forgive her? Would you still love her?”, questions the priest. 

​

“Of course, I would!”, cried the woman. “I would do anything for her. Why do you ask such a question?”

​

“Because I want you to know…” says the priest, “That God has a picture of you on His dresser.”

 

I think by picturing ourselves this way with all of the problems that we have had, the things we feel bad about, the mistakes that may have made, the people that we may have hurt; all of these kinds of things have a tendency to make us feel unworthy.        (by Dr. Wayne Dyer)

 

“To Forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.”     (Lewis B. Smedes)

​

“Forgive others, not because they deserve forgiveness but because you deserve peace.”    (Jonathon Lockwood Huie)

​

“Love yourself-accept yourself-forgive yourself-and be good to yourself, because without you the rest of us are without a source of many wonderful things.”    (Leo Buscaglia)

 

I know that people who hold on to their guilt have hearts that are truly remorseful for what they have done wrong. That can’t be a bad thing because of the alternative. 

​

Forgive yourself.  There is only one version of you that will ever exist in this Universe and each new morning that we open our eyes is proof of two things; One that you have been forgiven and Two, that your purpose in this Life has not yet been fulfilled.